Networking

I read an article on MSN this week that dove into the topic of college graduates and their networking abilities, or lack there of really. It seemed that there was this idea that recent graduates did not feel that there was a need to network themselves. In giving this some thought, I grew concerned. I mean, if they aren't networking then who is? I work in a socio-economically school where the students I serve I do not typically have access to wi-fi and personal computer databases that would allow them to take advantage of this technology. It makes me sad, but at the same time to see that college graduates are not using technology makes me even sadder. My question I guess is then are college graduates not taking advantage of their "toolbox" because they are waiting or expecting things to happen for them? Or, is this the new wave of the future that "networking" as it has looked in the past is no longer necessary? Are there other avenues that are being utilized that the recent graduates know about that makes those of previous generations obselete? Food for thought.

Emo facebook friends

So, I have friends on facebook that are all ages, all cultures, and all kinds of things. But I have one friend, who is actually family, that is the most cry baby person I have ever known. Now, I work with teenagers all day long. I see how their emotions are up and down and around the corner on nearly a minute by minute basis. In fact, I believe that on any given day most teenagers could be labeled bi-polar if they were just tested at the right time. But, this one friend whines so much on facebook that I almost cannot stand to read their posts anymore. Delete then you say? I thought about that too, then I was like oh crap what if they notice and then they kill themselves because someone unfriended them. So, I was then going to hide all posts by this person. Then I thought, Oh, crap if I do that and then everyone else (because I am sure there are others that can't take it either) does that then there will be no one left to answer his assanine posts or comment on the craziness and that might push them over the edge. Now, I realize that this particular facebook friend has just done what he has set out to do all along. I question my own actions so much that I am uber aware of what he is doing more so than anyone else I would actually rather have status updates about. Even though I am aware that I am being played, I still creep about looking to see what is happening because sometimes it is better to be quiet and sometimes it is better to know. I also realize that doing this and giving something so minute so much attention could possibly make me just as crazy. Relationships did not used to be this much work.

Having a serious case of self loathing today. I hate everything that I write and I write things I hate. It is a vicious cycle. I have stopped and restarted the same spot a million times and come up with the same block. I move on and then think I am ready to come back to gaping hole in my story and find out that I am definately NOT ready to do that. There is much to learn and much to do to make myself want to write any further. How do other people get past the wanting to give up? I go through the I'm not good enough and no one wants to read my thoughts anyway. Then, I find out differently and it makes me inspired to try all over again. I just have to find a way to be able to pull myself out of the funk rather than relying on others to do it for me.

Teaching grammar today... homonyms for high school. We shouldn't still be working on this.

Thought of the last great facebook post a friend had posted.

Understanding the differerence between

knowing you're shit
and
knowing your shit

I think if I posted this they would get it. I also think if I posted this I could get fired. Maybe not.

Loosing the voice of a character

In my newest venture that I have discussed here before it seems that there are numerous curve balls being thrown my way. First I get too close, so I put it down. Then, I can't seem to want to get back into it. I picked it up after just a few weeks and now I find that I hate one of the characters. She is a supporting character who is supposed to be, well, supportive. However, I find that I have written her to be so annoying. She needed to be that strong BFF, but I feel like she is just an obstacle. Maybe she can become part of the problems the protagonist overcomes as well. Maybe I should off her and really shake things up.... just kidding that would take the work into a whole new direction. I just haven't been able to regain her voice. I find myself not wanting to write her dialogue. I will persevere. Maybe I need to watch a strong female character movie to regain some perspective. Maybe I need to go hang out at a chick's biker bar. That would be some interesting research to share with the hubby. I promise I am not turning lesbian... I really needed to get to know these women it is all in the name of research :) he would love that though.

I have encountered one of the most difficult times in my writing. Never before has my real life bled over into a story that I have been working on. Granted, sometimes my stories are bits and pieces of things that have happened to me or something that I have experienced, or maybe a dream that I have had and then I work on how that would all play out. But, now things just got a little too clsoe to home. My current project includes two friends that learn to navigate life together. It is a testiment to true love and it is a testiment to true sisterhood. Although the book has been outlined for quite some time, it has come to the part where one character finds out that an affair has become part of their lives. Now, enter my real life. My husband and I have been together for 16 years. In those 16 years there was a couple that was so close to us that in the beginning we were all dirt poor and lived together and had probabley the best times of our lives. This is the couple that we have vacationed with yearly. This is the couple that I am blood related to the wife and the husband has been my husband's best friend since middle school. We all met at the same time. We are all part of this incredible love story that is better than fiction. And now, it is all ruined. I found out that the husband.... he has been having an affair for the past five years. For the past five years, the man that I thought I knew; the man that I truely believed to be a great person; the man that I was proud my husband was with... is not the man I knew at all. Not only has he been cheating... But, he straight up left his wife and moved in with another woman. I feel like I am getting a divorce. I don't understand. This isn't my marriage. Yet, I feel like I have been cheated on. I feel like I have been let down. I can help her pick up the pieces. I can be vindictive when she needs me to be strong. I can help with her children. But can I get over the feeling of betrayal? Can I stand it if my husband has to never see him again? How does one get over this? How can I find the strength to write about it? Does that make the topic and characters even more real? Is it better to let the raw emotion come right out on to the page or is it better to write that emotion into your current work? I am stumped. I am heartbroken. I am wounded.

I had the ebook out for free download a few weeks ago and had at least 11 people get a hold of it. I promise that none of these people were friends or family. I honestly haven't even told them it was up because I want my numbers to be authentic. Anyway, after that initial free day I have had some buys. I have to say that it is a welcoming feeling to see that some of your work might start to pay off. I'm not saying I'm going to be a millionaire over night, but perhaps I can supplement and not work all these extra shifts that I have been putting in. If anyone else has had success with their work being picked up after free initial down load dates on KDP Select I would love to hear about your experience! Share it please! I think we can all really help each other out with reviews and comments. I would love to read some work of people trying to get reviewed. I can't promise that it will be done super fast, Christmas break is coming up and I will have a little bit of free time.

Speaking of the impending holidays, my mother was in town to visit this past weekend. We hit some of the stores as is our normal way of spending time together. I couldn't believe how many of the retail giants already had out their decorations. I went to get Starbucks this morning and the lot surrounding the store already had their halls decked. Wow, we are moving into this season full throttle. I even read some ads that Black Friday would start at 8:00 p.m. on Thanksgiving Thursday! I guess we are just being inundated with consumerism. I for one will not be in the malls on Black Friday. I don't think I could hold my temper long enough. I will however be under the open sky, camping in the desert and watching my kids ride their motorcycles while the wind flies through their hair. I will relish the peace and quiet of the open land as I sip my coffee in the morning and get caught up on that book that has been haunting me these past few weeks. I will enjoy my break if it kills me. And, I don't want to hear crap about Christmas until I get back.