Networking

I read an article on MSN this week that dove into the topic of college graduates and their networking abilities, or lack there of really. It seemed that there was this idea that recent graduates did not feel that there was a need to network themselves. In giving this some thought, I grew concerned. I mean, if they aren't networking then who is? I work in a socio-economically school where the students I serve I do not typically have access to wi-fi and personal computer databases that would allow them to take advantage of this technology. It makes me sad, but at the same time to see that college graduates are not using technology makes me even sadder. My question I guess is then are college graduates not taking advantage of their "toolbox" because they are waiting or expecting things to happen for them? Or, is this the new wave of the future that "networking" as it has looked in the past is no longer necessary? Are there other avenues that are being utilized that the recent graduates know about that makes those of previous generations obselete? Food for thought.

Having a serious case of self loathing today. I hate everything that I write and I write things I hate. It is a vicious cycle. I have stopped and restarted the same spot a million times and come up with the same block. I move on and then think I am ready to come back to gaping hole in my story and find out that I am definately NOT ready to do that. There is much to learn and much to do to make myself want to write any further. How do other people get past the wanting to give up? I go through the I'm not good enough and no one wants to read my thoughts anyway. Then, I find out differently and it makes me inspired to try all over again. I just have to find a way to be able to pull myself out of the funk rather than relying on others to do it for me.

Loosing the voice of a character

In my newest venture that I have discussed here before it seems that there are numerous curve balls being thrown my way. First I get too close, so I put it down. Then, I can't seem to want to get back into it. I picked it up after just a few weeks and now I find that I hate one of the characters. She is a supporting character who is supposed to be, well, supportive. However, I find that I have written her to be so annoying. She needed to be that strong BFF, but I feel like she is just an obstacle. Maybe she can become part of the problems the protagonist overcomes as well. Maybe I should off her and really shake things up.... just kidding that would take the work into a whole new direction. I just haven't been able to regain her voice. I find myself not wanting to write her dialogue. I will persevere. Maybe I need to watch a strong female character movie to regain some perspective. Maybe I need to go hang out at a chick's biker bar. That would be some interesting research to share with the hubby. I promise I am not turning lesbian... I really needed to get to know these women it is all in the name of research :) he would love that though.

I have encountered one of the most difficult times in my writing. Never before has my real life bled over into a story that I have been working on. Granted, sometimes my stories are bits and pieces of things that have happened to me or something that I have experienced, or maybe a dream that I have had and then I work on how that would all play out. But, now things just got a little too clsoe to home. My current project includes two friends that learn to navigate life together. It is a testiment to true love and it is a testiment to true sisterhood. Although the book has been outlined for quite some time, it has come to the part where one character finds out that an affair has become part of their lives. Now, enter my real life. My husband and I have been together for 16 years. In those 16 years there was a couple that was so close to us that in the beginning we were all dirt poor and lived together and had probabley the best times of our lives. This is the couple that we have vacationed with yearly. This is the couple that I am blood related to the wife and the husband has been my husband's best friend since middle school. We all met at the same time. We are all part of this incredible love story that is better than fiction. And now, it is all ruined. I found out that the husband.... he has been having an affair for the past five years. For the past five years, the man that I thought I knew; the man that I truely believed to be a great person; the man that I was proud my husband was with... is not the man I knew at all. Not only has he been cheating... But, he straight up left his wife and moved in with another woman. I feel like I am getting a divorce. I don't understand. This isn't my marriage. Yet, I feel like I have been cheated on. I feel like I have been let down. I can help her pick up the pieces. I can be vindictive when she needs me to be strong. I can help with her children. But can I get over the feeling of betrayal? Can I stand it if my husband has to never see him again? How does one get over this? How can I find the strength to write about it? Does that make the topic and characters even more real? Is it better to let the raw emotion come right out on to the page or is it better to write that emotion into your current work? I am stumped. I am heartbroken. I am wounded.

It has been awhile since I have blogged. It is not because I haven 't been busy.... I am happy with the results from You Want to Be being free for download. It had a significant number of downloads (yay!) I have been busy writing and just spending time with  my kids. Isn't that what summer vacation is all about? I will again have it for free download sometime this summer keep your eyes out for it.

On Monday, June 4 2012 you can get a free copy of You Want to Be Me for download on your kindle from Amazon.com. Check it out and leave me a comment or review. I would appreciate it. Just follow the link on the right by clicking the book cover. Nothing is better than free! I will do more promotions in the coming weeks if you miss this one.

I have the whole summer ahead of me and can I just say that I have never before been looking forward to the alone time that I plan on spending with writing. There is so many stories that I have started and just need to finish and format. It has been killing me! But, there is one thing standing in my way: Game of Thrones. I started watching the series last year and had to read the books. I am currently a quarter of the way through with book four. But these are so long and I find myself screaming, screw you George R.R. Martin for taking up so much of my life! In truth, I love them. Many people I know are watching the series and they talk aboutt what is currently happening and I have to just walk away because I want to share too many secrets when they say so and so needs to die or so and so will be king. Ugh the frustration! Then I think to myself, what a great author that has made me become so enthralled with such vivid descriptions and characters that I too want to kill them off? But, I can only aspire to be as successful as he has become. We are different are a different type of writer, Martin and myself, but the passion he has put into this work is invigorating. By the way I am not done with the books, but I love John Snow and the Imp.

Christmas

I am more than excited to be out for Christmas break!!!! The holiday has now come and gone, but I still have vacation and that is all I need. I have decided to spend my time writing and blocking out the rest of the world. But as I search the blank page for the my next inspiration I have thoughts that clutter my mind and sometimes just need to express.

I have to say that I am quite dissapointed in my family and friends this holiday season. I like tradition. I think it makes us who we are and we have to remember that and what has made this world work. I can remember the day that I would receive on average two or three Christmas cards a year. I would love to see the expressions of people that might not live near on with their shiny holiday gear on. This year I sent out my normal 30-35 cards to family and friends. I received one FOUR! I was wished a Merry Christmas on Facebook by numerous people or the overall status update of Merry Christmas. But really? Has technology really overrun us so much that we no longer take the time to even facebook people individually? This is coming from someone that loves technology. I read on my Kindle, I listen to Pandora, my kids have ipods. Gaming systems along with flat screens have been in my house since they came out. However, I like the tradition of taking the time to remember those that you don't see everyday. Has the Christmas tradition changed and this will soon be a thing of the past? I for one hope not!