Networking

I read an article on MSN this week that dove into the topic of college graduates and their networking abilities, or lack there of really. It seemed that there was this idea that recent graduates did not feel that there was a need to network themselves. In giving this some thought, I grew concerned. I mean, if they aren't networking then who is? I work in a socio-economically school where the students I serve I do not typically have access to wi-fi and personal computer databases that would allow them to take advantage of this technology. It makes me sad, but at the same time to see that college graduates are not using technology makes me even sadder. My question I guess is then are college graduates not taking advantage of their "toolbox" because they are waiting or expecting things to happen for them? Or, is this the new wave of the future that "networking" as it has looked in the past is no longer necessary? Are there other avenues that are being utilized that the recent graduates know about that makes those of previous generations obselete? Food for thought.

Emo facebook friends

So, I have friends on facebook that are all ages, all cultures, and all kinds of things. But I have one friend, who is actually family, that is the most cry baby person I have ever known. Now, I work with teenagers all day long. I see how their emotions are up and down and around the corner on nearly a minute by minute basis. In fact, I believe that on any given day most teenagers could be labeled bi-polar if they were just tested at the right time. But, this one friend whines so much on facebook that I almost cannot stand to read their posts anymore. Delete then you say? I thought about that too, then I was like oh crap what if they notice and then they kill themselves because someone unfriended them. So, I was then going to hide all posts by this person. Then I thought, Oh, crap if I do that and then everyone else (because I am sure there are others that can't take it either) does that then there will be no one left to answer his assanine posts or comment on the craziness and that might push them over the edge. Now, I realize that this particular facebook friend has just done what he has set out to do all along. I question my own actions so much that I am uber aware of what he is doing more so than anyone else I would actually rather have status updates about. Even though I am aware that I am being played, I still creep about looking to see what is happening because sometimes it is better to be quiet and sometimes it is better to know. I also realize that doing this and giving something so minute so much attention could possibly make me just as crazy. Relationships did not used to be this much work.

Having a serious case of self loathing today. I hate everything that I write and I write things I hate. It is a vicious cycle. I have stopped and restarted the same spot a million times and come up with the same block. I move on and then think I am ready to come back to gaping hole in my story and find out that I am definately NOT ready to do that. There is much to learn and much to do to make myself want to write any further. How do other people get past the wanting to give up? I go through the I'm not good enough and no one wants to read my thoughts anyway. Then, I find out differently and it makes me inspired to try all over again. I just have to find a way to be able to pull myself out of the funk rather than relying on others to do it for me.

Teaching grammar today... homonyms for high school. We shouldn't still be working on this.

Thought of the last great facebook post a friend had posted.

Understanding the differerence between

knowing you're shit
and
knowing your shit

I think if I posted this they would get it. I also think if I posted this I could get fired. Maybe not.

Loosing the voice of a character

In my newest venture that I have discussed here before it seems that there are numerous curve balls being thrown my way. First I get too close, so I put it down. Then, I can't seem to want to get back into it. I picked it up after just a few weeks and now I find that I hate one of the characters. She is a supporting character who is supposed to be, well, supportive. However, I find that I have written her to be so annoying. She needed to be that strong BFF, but I feel like she is just an obstacle. Maybe she can become part of the problems the protagonist overcomes as well. Maybe I should off her and really shake things up.... just kidding that would take the work into a whole new direction. I just haven't been able to regain her voice. I find myself not wanting to write her dialogue. I will persevere. Maybe I need to watch a strong female character movie to regain some perspective. Maybe I need to go hang out at a chick's biker bar. That would be some interesting research to share with the hubby. I promise I am not turning lesbian... I really needed to get to know these women it is all in the name of research :) he would love that though.

I have encountered one of the most difficult times in my writing. Never before has my real life bled over into a story that I have been working on. Granted, sometimes my stories are bits and pieces of things that have happened to me or something that I have experienced, or maybe a dream that I have had and then I work on how that would all play out. But, now things just got a little too clsoe to home. My current project includes two friends that learn to navigate life together. It is a testiment to true love and it is a testiment to true sisterhood. Although the book has been outlined for quite some time, it has come to the part where one character finds out that an affair has become part of their lives. Now, enter my real life. My husband and I have been together for 16 years. In those 16 years there was a couple that was so close to us that in the beginning we were all dirt poor and lived together and had probabley the best times of our lives. This is the couple that we have vacationed with yearly. This is the couple that I am blood related to the wife and the husband has been my husband's best friend since middle school. We all met at the same time. We are all part of this incredible love story that is better than fiction. And now, it is all ruined. I found out that the husband.... he has been having an affair for the past five years. For the past five years, the man that I thought I knew; the man that I truely believed to be a great person; the man that I was proud my husband was with... is not the man I knew at all. Not only has he been cheating... But, he straight up left his wife and moved in with another woman. I feel like I am getting a divorce. I don't understand. This isn't my marriage. Yet, I feel like I have been cheated on. I feel like I have been let down. I can help her pick up the pieces. I can be vindictive when she needs me to be strong. I can help with her children. But can I get over the feeling of betrayal? Can I stand it if my husband has to never see him again? How does one get over this? How can I find the strength to write about it? Does that make the topic and characters even more real? Is it better to let the raw emotion come right out on to the page or is it better to write that emotion into your current work? I am stumped. I am heartbroken. I am wounded.

I had the ebook out for free download a few weeks ago and had at least 11 people get a hold of it. I promise that none of these people were friends or family. I honestly haven't even told them it was up because I want my numbers to be authentic. Anyway, after that initial free day I have had some buys. I have to say that it is a welcoming feeling to see that some of your work might start to pay off. I'm not saying I'm going to be a millionaire over night, but perhaps I can supplement and not work all these extra shifts that I have been putting in. If anyone else has had success with their work being picked up after free initial down load dates on KDP Select I would love to hear about your experience! Share it please! I think we can all really help each other out with reviews and comments. I would love to read some work of people trying to get reviewed. I can't promise that it will be done super fast, Christmas break is coming up and I will have a little bit of free time.

Speaking of the impending holidays, my mother was in town to visit this past weekend. We hit some of the stores as is our normal way of spending time together. I couldn't believe how many of the retail giants already had out their decorations. I went to get Starbucks this morning and the lot surrounding the store already had their halls decked. Wow, we are moving into this season full throttle. I even read some ads that Black Friday would start at 8:00 p.m. on Thanksgiving Thursday! I guess we are just being inundated with consumerism. I for one will not be in the malls on Black Friday. I don't think I could hold my temper long enough. I will however be under the open sky, camping in the desert and watching my kids ride their motorcycles while the wind flies through their hair. I will relish the peace and quiet of the open land as I sip my coffee in the morning and get caught up on that book that has been haunting me these past few weeks. I will enjoy my break if it kills me. And, I don't want to hear crap about Christmas until I get back.

I have been consumed with desire to write, but I have been engulfed by my day job. There is so much that seems to be thrown my way that I can't keep up with the day to day aspects of life. My kitchen floor? Yes, it needs to be mopped! The bathroom? Didn't I just bribe my eight year with a five spot? I was hoping she didn't realize I hadn't paid her from my last weak attempt at delegating. The ideas in my head lately have been many. I think i am stressed. They come to me in the wee morning hours on the presipice of wake when all I want to do is keep dreaming. There have been characters that have popped up that I thought I would never think of again. Their faces have been burning in my brain. I need to let them. I need to give them a voice. I need to stop rambling. I need to stop working. I need to stop worrying that things will never be the same. I need to take control of my own life because no one is going to do it for me. I need to find what makes me happy. When was the last time I laughed? When was the last time I had fun just for the sake of it being what I wanted to do? When was the last time I had a day off? Oh yeah, Friday.... but I got the car fixed, the oil changed, the tires rotated, the car washed, a haircut (it had been 11 months), went grocery shopping, finished putting the finishing touches on halloween costumes, and picked my kids up from school on time. I think in all of this I have lost me. So, in celebration of me.... I am putting my book up for free on Amazon this Saturday. You will be able to download it without paying a penny! If you like it, tell a friend they should buy it and then I promise to spend that money doing something fun for me. So maybe I won't have to keep writing these posts that depress even me!

It has been awhile since I have blogged. It is not because I haven 't been busy.... I am happy with the results from You Want to Be being free for download. It had a significant number of downloads (yay!) I have been busy writing and just spending time with  my kids. Isn't that what summer vacation is all about? I will again have it for free download sometime this summer keep your eyes out for it.

On Monday, June 4 2012 you can get a free copy of You Want to Be Me for download on your kindle from Amazon.com. Check it out and leave me a comment or review. I would appreciate it. Just follow the link on the right by clicking the book cover. Nothing is better than free! I will do more promotions in the coming weeks if you miss this one.

You can download a free copy of You Want To Be Me for your Kindle on Monday. One day only, so make sure you remember the date! Leave me a review once you make your way there and have time to peruse it. It is new YA reading material.

I have the whole summer ahead of me and can I just say that I have never before been looking forward to the alone time that I plan on spending with writing. There is so many stories that I have started and just need to finish and format. It has been killing me! But, there is one thing standing in my way: Game of Thrones. I started watching the series last year and had to read the books. I am currently a quarter of the way through with book four. But these are so long and I find myself screaming, screw you George R.R. Martin for taking up so much of my life! In truth, I love them. Many people I know are watching the series and they talk aboutt what is currently happening and I have to just walk away because I want to share too many secrets when they say so and so needs to die or so and so will be king. Ugh the frustration! Then I think to myself, what a great author that has made me become so enthralled with such vivid descriptions and characters that I too want to kill them off? But, I can only aspire to be as successful as he has become. We are different are a different type of writer, Martin and myself, but the passion he has put into this work is invigorating. By the way I am not done with the books, but I love John Snow and the Imp.

Advice Giver

A student has begged me to read his writing and give him honest feedback on what I think. I knew before reading it that it was graphic, horrorific, and that his parents knew he was writing this as fiction. I also want to preface this with saying that I have watch every SAW movie out, so I am not sensitive to gore. However, I was overwhelmed because there was mutilation of babies.... Maybe that is where I draw the line. I gave feedback on the paper and even crossed a section out that even I felt could be literary taboo. I am afraid I might crush this new writer. I never wanted people to read my work because I hated the criticism. I did like some of his sentences. They were eloquent and they were meaningful and his story was wonderful because I could feel the pain that was haunting this student. But how much is too much in literature and where our world has gone today? Are there any subjects that are off limits? Or, have we gotten to the point that every new story has to overtake the last and be more shocking? How much is too much? That is my question and I would love to hear what all you others have to think, especially with the idea of free speech being front and center.

Reduced Price

I have put You Want to be Me up for the reduced price of .99 for the holidays. I am hoping that maybe people will want to pick up cheap copies of something to read on their new devices. You can buy it here http://www.amazon.com/You-Want-Be-Me-ebook/dp/B0054SI3QQ/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1307677734&sr=1-2

Happy Reading!

Christmas

I am more than excited to be out for Christmas break!!!! The holiday has now come and gone, but I still have vacation and that is all I need. I have decided to spend my time writing and blocking out the rest of the world. But as I search the blank page for the my next inspiration I have thoughts that clutter my mind and sometimes just need to express.

I have to say that I am quite dissapointed in my family and friends this holiday season. I like tradition. I think it makes us who we are and we have to remember that and what has made this world work. I can remember the day that I would receive on average two or three Christmas cards a year. I would love to see the expressions of people that might not live near on with their shiny holiday gear on. This year I sent out my normal 30-35 cards to family and friends. I received one FOUR! I was wished a Merry Christmas on Facebook by numerous people or the overall status update of Merry Christmas. But really? Has technology really overrun us so much that we no longer take the time to even facebook people individually? This is coming from someone that loves technology. I read on my Kindle, I listen to Pandora, my kids have ipods. Gaming systems along with flat screens have been in my house since they came out. However, I like the tradition of taking the time to remember those that you don't see everyday. Has the Christmas tradition changed and this will soon be a thing of the past? I for one hope not!

Back to Work

Summer has been over for a few weeks for me now and it is back to work and routine. It is so hard to find time to write between actually being at work, kids being in school, being a mom, being a wife, grading papers, and sleep. Ugh, I saw a preview for that new Sarah Jessica Parker movie I don't know how she does it and I was like, yeah I get her. My head has about a zillion stories floating around and I dream up even more at night, but I can't seem to ever get disciplined enough to sit and put them down on paper. Perhaps that is why it took me years to actually get my first manuscript completed.

I have still been shopping it around, but haven't heard anything but sorry this project doesn't seem right for us at this time. I take it in stride.... I do want to say though, hey why not keep it until it is the right time... they probably wouldn't like that much though. I will continue to shop it up and see what might some day come out of it. When and if it does, it will be a nice surprise I'm sure.

When do any of you other writers seem to find the time? Is it something you have to schedule? Do you just let it happen? Do you run away to a retreat and hope the ideas flow once you are there? Any ideas at this point would be helpful.

Preview!

Check out the new preview of my book You Want to be Me on Create Space by following the link below. I have included the prologue of the actual book for preview. I would love a review so please click on over and while you are there check out some of the other previews that are up. I am sure the other authors would appreciate the feedback.

https://www.createspace.com/Preview/1085841

Finished Proofing

I finished proofing and am producing the final product of You Want to Be Me. I'm glad I did it this way. I caught many mistakes that I didn't see before. I have sent out a few more submissions of the manuscript and have received a few rejections. But, that is ok I expected it and with each one it gets a little easier. I think I might be completely shocked if someone does ask for a full read. Until then, I have restated prices of the kindle version of 2.99 because I am noticing that many of the Young Adult title prices have been lowered for the summer. Now, I wait and hope someone buys it, or someone reads this blog, or someone notices that I exist.

Proof Copy

I received the copy of my proof in the mail yesterday. To be honest, I struggled with even opening the package. It felt unreal that something that I wrote was actually in a book format (granted only I made that possible, but never the less it was actually in my hand and no longer in my head). I sat down with my pen and began reading through, very slowly, each and every word. I found so many errors. Wow! I was embarassed. On the computer, I never even saw them. They didn't show up in spelling and grammar check. (I guess that is why people use editors right?) Although, I have an English degree, so perhaps I should I have caught them all? No, that is what I have taught my students for so long. Have someone else read your paper and they will find errors or make suggestions that you did not find. It is being too close to your text. I knew what they were going to say, so I skimmed it and didn't read it. That is my lesson for the day. Proof read and then have others proof read. When it is next to nearly perfect I will once again try and send it out to agents. In the mean time, I will shop it myself.

Tired of Vampires and Werewolves

Let me start this out by saying that I love vampires and werewolves. I currently watch Trueblood, Teen Wolf, and The Vampire Diaries. I love the series Being Human on Syfy. I have read all the Twilight books and have watched all the movies. But, talk about overkill! What if you are a teenager that hates this stuff? What is out there for you to read? I love the sappy romance novel as an adult that I find with reading chic lit. What exists for girls of that age anymore? Every book I thumb through seems to deal with these supernatural creatures or has some sort of issue that is meant to be a lesson you can carry with you for the rest of your life. When I read, I want there to be an escape. I want to enjoy my characters and maybe feel like I am one of them. I think an author has a job to do to make sure that their characters can relate to these people, but at the same time, if I wanted to read about my own life I would. I like romance, I always have. As I sat down to write You Want to Be Me, I knew where I was going with it. I tried to recapture the emotions that were so overwhelming at that time in my life. Lets be honest, sex was a big part of it. How much can you include and what is too graphic? These are the questions I am searching to answer. What do teenagers want to read and how much is too much? Let me know what you think, maybe some input would help me to establish future characters.